he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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