Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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