Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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