What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
They have beer where we have blood.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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