I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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