Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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