Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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