Your mouth is God's brothel.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
