please come you make the beer taste better
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
