Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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