you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
