3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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