pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
