His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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