Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
