And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
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