is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
