On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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