i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He better not be in your backpack
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
