i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
