Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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