I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
