More tranny stories later!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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