Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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