Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize