last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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