Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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