I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
