# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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