the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
