She's JV to your varsity
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
