if i died would you start the facebook group?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
