My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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