Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
