You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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