the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
