no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
