He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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