Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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