I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
