she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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