This is not my ceiling
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
