I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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