Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
