I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize