And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
