In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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