Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
