No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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