I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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