I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
