so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize