Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
