i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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