I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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