I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
no you cant smoke seaweed
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
