i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Found the puke drawer
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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