It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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