when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
