Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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