Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i came on her dog
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
