the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
