Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
