ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
