god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
