this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize