her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
