if i can run in heels then i can drive
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
