it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
