finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
