Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
